Andrea Oyarzabal
2/09/08
Experiment
I started this experiment of recording myself while I’m sleeping. I set the
voice recorder before I go to bed at night and it picks up on noises like the
cat jumping from the bed and the heater kicking on and off. I had this idea
because I had this boss—We went on business trips together and shared a room.
The morning after our first night of sleeping together she made a big deal about
how she hadn’t brought her earplugs. I have been told I talk in my sleep and my
roommate woke on night to me singing a choral hymn so I was worried that I would
talk about my boss while sleeping and she would catch and accuse me the next
morning, but it never happened. On most nights, I saw her fall asleep, her
earplugs on the night stand—she never actually used them.
For the past thirteen nights I have recorded myself. I discovered that it is
really hard to fall asleep knowing that you are being recorded. On the second
night while suffering from insomnia at the anticipation of the recorder catching
all of my noises, I forgot I had it on and I can be heard trimming my toenails
at three a.m. On most nights I am surprised because I haven’t heard anything. I
am embarrassed to listen to the recording the next day. It’s like I am spying on
myself in my most vulnerable state. Last night, I was sure I would hear talking
as I had a vivid dream about my car being towed and owing impound $585.00, but
there was nothing, not even snoring. On the third night, I fell asleep after 9
minutes and can hear myself on the tape breathing heavily. At about 2 hours I
snore a little and then smack my mouth together and mumble. The scariest part
was I made a noise that sounded like a dying donkey. I don’t know if I was
trying to talk or I was screaming. It feels really strange not being acquainted
with your sleeping self. It’s like listening to a complete stranger that you
never realized existed. In hopes of tricking myself into talking, I didn’t
record myself so I would get used to the recorder. Still nothing. I am actually
disappointed that nothing has happened—I want to know my sleeping self as others
do, but now sleeping me is evading waking me. I don’t know that I will ever give
myself the chance. Falling asleep while being recorded is like sleeping with a
new lover, trying not to do anything embarrassing so as to not scare them away.
I hope I still like myself tomorrow.
